by When Nadya Tolokonnikova, one of the founding members of the anti-establishment punk collective Pussy Riot, contacted John Caldwell on Discord, an encrypted messaging app, she asked him if he was a robot.
“She just said ‘haha,’” said Caldwell, who was already familiar with her work. “She was very suspicious.”
Tolokonnikova had developed an interest in cryptocurrencies and blockchain and had heard about Caldwell, a partner at a financial services firm specializing in cryptocurrencies, through a friend. “He was jumping on Zooms with random people with no romantic intentions, just learning about cryptocurrency,” she said.
They met for dinner a few days later, in mid-September 2021. “It ended horribly,” Caldwell said. “She faked a call to Europe and left.”
Tolokonnikova, an activist, musician and artist, described herself as a “super introverted person” and said she usually spaced out meetings with new people. But at that time, she was in the process of learning about a new topic and, therefore, she had scheduled several meetings in one day, and the dinner with Mr. Caldwell was the last.
“I felt overwhelmed,” she said. Then she left abruptly. But, she said, “it wasn’t a reflection on John at all.” In fact, she had been intrigued by her conversation about reproductive rights and religion, and by Mr. Caldwell’s suggestion that she tap into the deep pockets of the cryptocurrency world to raise funds for causes she cared about.
Despite Mr. Caldwell’s feeling that the meeting had been a disaster, Ms. Tolokonnikova approached him again and the two decided to work together on a new company: unicornDAOa fundraising and investment vehicle focused on female, non-binary, and LGBTQ artists and creators.
Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, 34, was born in Norilsk, Russia, and studied philosophy at Moscow State University. At age 22, before she could complete her studies, she was imprisoned for almost two years for her role in “Punk Prayer,” a public performance protesting the Russian government’s close relationship with the Russian Orthodox Church (the protest was also targeted from an HBO documentary in 2013). In 2014, she and another Pussy Riot member, Maria Alyokhina, founded an independent news outlet in Russia called Midzone. Mrs. Tolokonnikova was previously married to Pyotr Verzilov. They separated in 2016.
Ms. Tolokonnikova’s continued outspokenness against President Vladimir V. Putin and his government landed her on Russia’s list of “foreign agents,” a label authorities use to repress opposition figures. Fearing for her safety, she does not reveal where she lives. In 2019 she received an honorary doctorate from the Rhode Island School of Design, fulfilling a personal dream. She is currently working on a memoir.
John Ferguson Caldwell, 40, was born in Providence, Rhode Island, but grew up in Pacific Palisades, California. Mr. Caldwell graduated from Pepperdine University in 2006 with a bachelor’s degree in art. He worked in surf tourism in the Marshall Islands, managing a private island and organizing luxury yacht charters, until the pandemic began. After returning to the United States in March 2020, his interest in cryptocurrencies and blockchain led him to join Wave, a financial services company. He is the founder of RFLXT, a company that is building an AI platform and crypto tools for creators.
After Russia invaded Ukraine in February 2022, Caldwell and Tolokonnikova led an effort to raise $7.1 million in cryptocurrency for Ukraine. The crypto wallet they used for the fundraiser publicly listed Mr. Caldwell’s name. “All my friends were like, ‘The Russian government is going to put him on a list,’” Caldwell said. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that was the moment Nadya had little hearts in her eyes.”
“That was a very clear moment for me,” Tolokonnikova said. “I really appreciate kindness, bravery, consistency and high moral values in people.”
Caldwell was also full of admiration for Tolokonnikova. After she messaged him on Discord, he decided to learn more about her and saw speech delivered at her trial in Russia in 2012, in which Tolokonnikova described herself and her fellow Pussy Riot activists as “freer than the people sitting in front of us representing the prosecution because we can say whatever we want and we do”.
“It’s one of the most inspiring moments in recent human history,” Caldwell said. “And that’s just in the background. She’s funny, beautiful, smart and goth… and now vegan.” Caldwell has been vegan for more than two decades and managed to convert Tolokonnikova to the diet in the fall of 2022.
Now they enjoy eating together at new vegan restaurants. “John knows every place on planet Earth where you can find vegan food and he is always the best,” Ms Tolokonnikova said.
They also like to organize political actions together; In November, for example, protested against restrictions on abortion rights in front of the Indiana Supreme Court building. “We brought a giant inflatable vagina and I came up with the contraption to inflate it, so I held it,” Caldwell said.
“His friends called him the man behind the pussy,” Tolokonnikova said.
They both struggle with depression and other mental health issues and find comfort in helping others. “Most people, if one of the members of their society were put on a list of wanted criminals in their country and exiled and couldn’t visit their home, their family and everything they knew, they would consider it a challenge,” he said. Caldwell. saying. “But it is simply our reality. We don’t sit around feeling sorry for ourselves. “We just want to be useful.”
He added that he does not prioritize happiness. Instead, he said, “I prioritize ideals, being useful, creative and supporting the people around me.”
Tolokonnikova said she found Caldwell’s approach comforting. “I don’t even necessarily know what happiness is,” she said. “I dedicate most of my time to my art or my activism. “I don’t spend much of my time doing human activities, like going to a bar or just having fun.”
That’s why fun was the top priority of Mr. Caldwell’s proposal. “Nadya has been through a lot,” he said. “I wanted to give it something nice and nice and kind of traditional.”
A few days before a trip to London, Caldwell commissioned Alligator Jesus, a jewelry designer and friend, to create an engagement ring for Tolokonnikova. Within 24 hours, Alligator Jesus delivered a black gold ring with diamonds and a pink sapphire. Caldwell also asked permission to propose to Gera Riot, Tolokonnikova’s 15-year-old daughter, and she granted it.
On November 11, Caldwell and Tolokonnikova were joined by Marina Abramovic, a close friend who, according to Tolokonnikova, “spiritually adopted” the couple in central London. They were there to see a short art film.”Nadya means hope,” in which Tolokonnikova lights a candle in the shape of an eggplant emoji, plays on a huge screen in Piccadilly Circus. At the end of the video, a poem written by Mr. Caldwell appeared on the screen, followed by the words “Will you marry me?” in Russian and English. Mr. Caldwell knelt down and took out the ring.
“I fell to the ground because I was so surprised,” Tolokonnikova said. Literally. And then she said, “Dad!”
They were legally married on January 12 in a Los Angeles courthouse. Afterward, Nathan Monk, a priest who left the Russian Orthodox Church because it did not support his stance on gay marriage, led a brief ceremony in his friend’s yard in front of about 200 guests.
“She talked about Ukraine, about the fact that this love is due to the challenges of the modern world, but also to our common desire to make the world a little better, more fair,” Tolokonnikova said.
Tolokonnikova’s daughter appeared on the party’s playlist, which included Soviet pop and contemporary Russian trap. For food, Tolokonnikova suggested serving pickles and vodka, but Caldwell insisted on something heartier.
He asked Wendell Hooper, a friend who is a chef, to do the catering. “He answered my call a week before,” Caldwell said. “He said, ‘This is usually planned six months in advance,’ and I said, ‘Welcome to Pussy Riot.'”
They served vegan meatballs, vegan cold cuts, vegan shrimp, and eggplant caviar. Tolokonnikova baked a large vegan Napoleon cake, dyed it black and assembled it in the shape of a cross, a symbol she often uses in her artwork.
The dress code was “gopnik,” a word that summarizes a style of dress, music and art that reflects the working class in the former Soviet states in the 1980s and 1990s. Mr. Caldwell asked Mark Hunter: also known as the cobra snake, to work as a wedding photographer. “I like their pop event club style.”
Guests showed up in tracksuits, slippers, Adidas flip-flops and newsboy caps, and one brought an accordion. Tolokonnikova wore an Adidas corset, a Depop skirt with a petticoat over it, a faux fur jacket, and velvet high-platform Doc Martens.
He sewed three stripes (the Adidas brand) along the sleeves of a suit jacket for Caldwell, using a skill he learned in prison. “I thought he would never sew again,” she said. But this time, she was happy to do it.
“Everyone said it was the most comfortable party they had ever been to,” Tolokonnikova said. “It was absurd and silly at times, and the general atmosphere was very welcoming.”
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In this day
When January 12, 2024
Where the Angels
Breaking bread A friend gave Tolokonnikova and Caldwell a loaf of dense rye bread, which they pulled from opposite sides until it broke. According to Russian tradition, whoever ends up with a larger portion will be in charge. “We did it exactly the same,” Tolokonnikova said. “Well, maybe mine was a little bigger.”
bitter cries At Russian weddings, when guests shout the word “gorko” or “bitter,” the newlywed couple must kiss immediately. But not all guests at Tolokonnikova and Caldwell’s international wedding understood what the word meant. “They were yelling at me and he was on the opposite side of the house,” Tolokonnikova said.
Master of ceremonies A friend of the couple who is a translator and speaks Russian and English, Max Lawton, acted as “tamada,” or master of ceremonies, in the Georgian tradition. In addition to hosting the toasts, Lawton led guests to play games, such as one in which people hold a balloon in their lap and others try to sit on it until it explodes.
